A dismal decade is coming to a half-way mark and I am tempted to celebrate it in a below average manner. I would like to stay under the covers, chase a few legally prescribed muscle relaxants with a bottle of Dom. The Dom would be the celebratory aspect of this brilliant plan. With my luck, it will probably be another spectacular day in smog-filled Los Angeles and all my body will want to do is Carpe Diem it by going for an exhausting 3.2 mile run in Franklyn Canyon. I could test my precision driving skills by taking a joy ride on Mulholland at 3 am when the fog is at it's thickest. But, tandem sky diving at Lake Elsinore seems more thrilling especially if the lever that opens up the parachute got jammed. My instructor and I would have to miraculously grow a pair of wings to land safely. That wasn't very morbid, I hope. Could this be a cry for help?
I took on a new service provider to have some semblance of normalcy, a reliable source of relaxation as it were. But lately he's been coming over for a good nights rest and not exactly delivering on the plan I signed up for. It probably has to do with the age difference. What I must praise are his skills. What an older man lacks in endurance, he makes up for in technique. It's my uneducated guess based on this sole experience with one sleepy provider. Should I conduct an unscientific experiment to support this claim?
I had a friend, Bea, who fell in love and, last I heard, had a child with a man 30 years older than she was. I ran into them at LACMA when King Tut was in town and earnestly chastised her for not telling me her "father" was in town. Awkward? Yes! Will Beatrice call me to wish me a Happy Birthday later? No. She hasn't done so since she helped me throw my favorite birthday party ever. It was my 25th and I had never had a real birthday party before then. For that I am eternally grateful and will always remember that about Bea. I wish she'd warn me that her new beau had more in common with our fathers than she and he did. She claimed he was the greatest lover she'd ever had. If you'd seen this man next to her, the images that your mind would conjure up would surely curb your appetite. Clearly, she was happy. The fact that he showered her with lavish presents and nights at the opera made him that much more attractive I'm sure.
Sleepy service provider, Mullholand, Lake Elsinore, wings....I think this is really a cry for lavish gifts on my end.
